Monday, April 26, 2010

Limousines are for peeing.

Friends, sometimes my brain just...breaks. Momentarily, that is. Every once in a while I'll slur several words into one completely incomprehensible outburst of nonsense. Or combine two words into one. Or replace a word with another totally unrelated word. When we first started dating, The BF would respond to these brain breakages with, "oh god, did you just have a stroke?", but now he's used to them. They always make us break into hysterical fits of laughter. It didn't occur to me until just now that maybe it isn't so funny...maybe this is just like in season 4 of Bones when everyone thought it was hilarious  Booth hallucinated Luke Robitaille (I had to google him to spell it correctly) and Stewie from Family Guy, but later Brennan makes him go to the doctor and no one was laughing then because BOOTH HAD A BRAIN TUMOR. And we all felt like jerks for enjoying those hallucinations episodes. We were laughing in the face of death at Sealy Booth's expense. How many hot FBI agents do we think there are? Because Mulder is gone, people! JESUS.

Do you think I have a brain tumor? Please send reassuring comments that I am not dying.

Anyway, despite the fact that I may be dying, these weird little things I do are really funny and I think from time to time I will share one with you guys, even if you end up judging me for it.

Here for your amusement is one that happened just the other day...

First you guys should know that I like to make random comments at the TV and usually The BF is reading the internet and doesn't pay much attention to the crazy gibberish I'm spouting at commercials or the insults I throw down (like a badass) at annoying, overly picky homebuyers on House Hunters. The point is, these comments are almost always stupid and not at all funny. (i.e. "shut your butt" or "so's your face).

So, when this particular brain breakage occurred, I was watching a commercial for some overactive bladder medication. I tried really hard to find it for you guys, but I seriously don't think anyone else on the internet cares about it enough to post it on youtube. Anyway, the announcer was all, "you know how when you want to go to the museum, but you really have to pee and so you miss every exhibit because you're just peeing everywhere? Now you can actually appreciate art because our medication makes you stop pissing yourself!"

First of all, this commercial's ridiculousness speaks for itself, but I apparently decided I was going to say something stupid about it anyway. What I meant to say was something like, "but museums are for peeing" which I realize makes no SENSE, but whatevs. At least it makes some sort of sense in the context of the commercial. I think I was trying to convey that it's possible to spend several hours in a museum so most people will probably pee a few times anyway. I know I would. BUT what I actually said was, "but LIMOUSINES are for peeing". Immediately The BF looks up from reading some article about our recent technological advancements and says, WHAT did you just say?

But I was already laughing hysterically, because wtf. Why was my brain even thinking about limousines enough to pick that word? Because it is totally and completely broken. Every now and then a tiny explosion occurs and I'm suddenly shouting  LIMOUSINE! at the TV.

Now that I've typed all this out, I think this is probably funnier to The BF and I.

Oh well, your problem.



  2. Also, you probably don't have a brain tumor, and "so's your face" is always an appropriate comeback.

  3. You probably take after your mom and I am pretty sure that she doesn't have a brain tumor but lots o brain farts, so to speak