Secrets, Secrets Hurt Someone...

When you were growing up, did your mom ever say to you, "there are some things you're better off not knowing"? I can't remember if my mom ever said this to me, or why I'm aware that it's a thing people say to each other fairly often, but it never seemed more relevant than last night.

You see, last night after The BF and I scarfed an entire large deep dish pizza, we were both secretly thinking to ourselves that something sweet and cakey HAD to be in our futures. We didn't say anything about it out loud, but even as he played through Heavy Rain and I watched and had panic attacks here and there, we were still both thinking it. And then.


The BF says to me, will you look up Dunkin Donuts locations? And I say, god dammit. Now we are definitely going to eat something sweety and cakey. Probably 4 to 6 somethings each. And I will continue to slowly morph into a big fat fatty. Now, we had already spent like ELEVEN whole dollars on a pizza and I knew that once we got to the DD The  BF would insist that since we had driven all this way(approximately 7 miles), we may as well get an entire dozen. AND THEN WE WOULD EAT THE ENTIRE THING. And we would have spent almost $20 in one day. Twenty whole dollars on getting fatter.

Now, a normal person may have come up with a solution something like this: You're right, self. No doughnuts for you and The BF tonight. Let's just have some yogurt and call it a night. But no. I am not a normal person. And here is where the relevancy of "there are some things you're better off not knowing" comes into play. For this particular bit of knowledge that I should not possess, I blame the Food Network. Specifically, Giada de Laurentis. She is the one who told me that you can DEEP FRY STORE BOUGHT PIZZA DOUGH, ROLL IT IN CINNAMON SUGAR AND IT BECOMES A DOUGHNUT. Why would she tell me this? WHY?

So, friends. my solution,sadly, was not to forget about sweet cakey somethings. It was, ZOMG, I have pizza dough in the fridge and I can totally deep fry it and roll it in cinnamon sugar and then The BF will love me forever for feeding him delicious treats and saving him $$. So, I announce this plan out loud to which The BF replied, quite skeptically, "you can do that?"

And yes, I can. And I did. And we ate them all, god dammit. And we got all hopped up on sugar and stayed up until 2 a.m. watching To Catch a Predator (what is that show? I'd never seen it before and I was horrified by two things: 1) why do so many men want to have sex with 13 year old girls and 2) why are so many men SO INCREDIBLY STUPID).

Anyway, the moral of this story is, I make bad decision and it's all The Food Network's fault. And my brain's filled to capacity file folder of "things you should not remember (becaus they'll probably ruin your life), but will anyway" is starting to takeover my entire ability to process thoughts and make decisions. 

(I'm not posting the doughnut recipe. Seriously, guys.

I mean...it's just...you...ugh. Fine. Unroll the pizza dough. Cut circles into it. Drop into really hot oil. Let them brown, roll them in cinnamon sugar. Eat and enjoy. Get really mad at me).